Life, Love, and Comics. Part IV: Critical Evaluation and the Illusion of Perfection.
Welcome back to another instalment of Live, Love, and Comics. This is an important one, probably the MOST important of all the sections so far. Because this one is the most difficult to confront and overcome as an artist. Hopefully by now you’ve been taking some of this stuff seriously, and are progressing at your craft. Lets presume that by now you have gotten all of this dialled in. You work at your craft every day at reasonable amounts, and have started to produce a regular body of work. You've gotten around the fear of getting started, but now comes another hard part: Its time to face the fear of exposure.
Exposing your work to a larger audience is no small task. It is, to some, a fate worse than physical pain. To be exposed artistically is, in some ways, like being stripped bare. It is akin to being viewed naked. It is in this way that so many of us, no matter how talented and gifted we may be at our craft, will never truly get into the realm of being a professional. Because to be a professional requires you to be completely comfortable with yourself and your craft. It requires you to be serious about what you do, who you are, and ready to stand by it.
It also requires us to accept something that may be hard to hear coming from someone else: that we are not perfect. It requires us to accept our short comings and learn from them. Up to this point in your own practice, you may have noticed that you have been getting better and better at what you do. But really, this can be a pitfall of your own construction. You see, internally, we all want to believe that we are perfect and wonderful and great (and really, we all are, but lets not get carried away on that path). However, in the reality of the social world , we learn about ourselves by exposure to other people. We learn what is socially acceptable and what is not. Without this social feedback, we can start to construct illusions around ourselves, that our behaviour, our actions, our artistic work, is totally fine, when really, it is not.
Confronting that illusion requires us to confront an objective truth, a truth that may suggest “No, you’re not that great.” Ouch. But really, this is neccesary for personal growth, both artistically and emotionally. By confronting this illusion of perfection, we’re put into a position where we must accept honesty. Honesty from others as well as from ourselves.
For much of my early life when I was learning to draw, I exhibited a natural talent for it. And in most of the classes I took for art, my teachers would usually say I was good or just leave me to do what I wanted do so long as it looked good (or at least productive). In this way I taught myself to draw…and taught myself a LOT of bad habits and poor technique. It wasn’t until I went to college and proper art school that I started to be exposed to teachers who expected more from me than just talent. It was here that I finally started having all the bad habits and techniques that looked good exposed as just being lazy or out right wrong. Despite the many times when I've been told I was good or great, the times where I learned the most about where I stood as an artist came from teachers that told me I was only “OK” or “not that good”.
This was pivotal in my life as an artist. I remember feeling fairly indignant and even insulted, but really they weren't saying “you suck so bad, stop immediately”. They were saying “you have talent, but you can do better”. It taught me a lot about being honest, and being honest with myself. Like it or not, it is what it is. This is why you have to accept being exposed and judged. Legitimacy is what's on the line. If someone thinks your artwork isn't that great, don't take it personally, take it seriously. It means you've got some work to do. Because ultimately, to do great art means crafting something that is objectively wonderful, beautiful, and impressive. Your artwork should be able to defend itself. Allowing other's to critically evaluate your work also allows you to start developing a critical mindset of your own. This is necessary for not only judging your own work fairly and honestly, but others as well.
But you shouldn't let yourself be duped by purely negative criticisms. If someone's giving your work criticism, it should be constructive and genuine, and easy to identify as such. Otherwise its just abuse, and you shouldn't put up with it. If you’re like me, you probably heap enough abuse on yourself by being overtly critical of your work, but when others start doing it, and in a fashion that is cruel and hateful, DO NOT TOLERATE IT ! Sometimes the truth can hurt, but when someone is attempting to put you down and trash your work without giving the least bit of constructive criticism, I advise you turn to this person, explain that they’re suffering from their own insecurities and possible history of abuse, and to fuck off.
“Tulips” by Jeff Koons.
Comparison: The Thief of Joy.
I’m about to get fairly deep here, so be sure to grab your floaties. Human beings are really great at believing in fallacies. Its part of the reason we’re so successful (and destructive) as a species. These illusions help us organise around ideas that, for better or worse, allow us to collectively believe in something. However, this ability, on a personal level, can be seriously detrimental. The Illusions that we can build up around ourselves, either as resistance, insecurity, or perfection, are a lot like Mirrors. These illusions reflect an idea of something we want to believe, perhaps socially reinforced, and can be manifested from negative places that cause us to resist doing what we love, or believe we are better than we really are. We see something in ourselves that isn’t there.
One such illusion, one that we may not be entirely aware of in our everyday lives, is comparison. As an artists, one of the pitfalls of doing a craft is potentially finding yourself constantly comparing yourself to other's work. This isn't always a bad thing to do, but it can be destructive. Studying other’s artwork can sometimes spiral into self doubt and ridicule by becoming overwhelmed by their work. In some ways, this is necessary to actively build a reference map to learn from.
But, at a certain point, you have to just stop, and realize that this person's artwork is, whether its good or bad, just different than yours. There's a lot of artists who's work always blows me away, and I often feel completely inadequate and ill prepared to compete, but really there is no competition! Their artwork is just different than mine, probably waaaaay better, but when I get to work, I have accept that I can work to change my artwork for the better, but must ultimately accept what my artwork is, and be able to appreciate it on its own merits.
Another way of thinking of this is thinking about styles and quality of artwork much like the spectrum of colors. Instead of thinking of all quality of artwork on a linear scale, think of quality and styles as different colors. For instance, I may be a Blue, in that “blue” represents the certain style of artwork I choose to work in. For others, they may be a Yellow or Red. Now, when these other styles compare theirs to mine, they may think they’re inadequate because our styles don’t match up, but really, we’re entirely different! At this point, there is no comparison, its just different!
The reason why comparison is called “the thief of Joy” is because it will rob you of the joy of being an artist. It will rob you of the satisfaction from the hard work you’ve put into your own work. Being a successful artist is something you have to determine. If its simply not good enough to be at the level you are and you want more from yourself, then carry on and keep striving! However, you shouldn’t stop from walking the path of development to being a better artist just because other artists have more skill. One of the best pieces of advice I've been given is to stop being the only judge of your artwork, let others judge the quality of your work. You'll always steal from yourself, because you know your weaknesses all too well. However, letting other skilled eyes appreciate your work allows you to gain insight into what is really working for you, and not what is not.
That’s all for now. Phew! A lot to take it, but alas, there’s only 1 more section left to present. In the final instalment of Life, Love, and Comics, I’ll talk about the Three Rules that I try to live and work by. Yeah, sorry, just about all of this could have been boiled down to three rules. Till then, go expose yourself!
